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One night i had an experience like nothing i have experienced before or since. my body went into paralysis, my eyes were close, and so was my mouth. there was a terribly painful vibrating sensation occurring throughout my body. i could not open my eyes or open my mouth to scream. then it was like i was floating outside of my bedroom window; being totally outside above the garage and looking down at the street in front of the house. just as soon as that happened, i was back in my bed. i thought it may have been a bizarre dream and i fell quickly back asleep. the same process happened: the painful vibrations, paralysis, eyes and mouth closed (i don't think i was able to breath, if not well). this time i went somewhere different. it was black all around me. all i remember seeing is this silver looking polling moving in and out of my abdomen. i felt this. then, i was right back in my bed, as if i was fighting this whole thing. i tried hard to get up and run down the hall to my mother's bedroom. i couldn't leave my bed as it felt like i was being pushed back down and held down. the same painful process of leaving happened again. this time i woke up in a tiny room on a two or three seated sofa. the room was neon purple (the ceiling, the walls), and the sofa was neon green. there were no doors or windows in the room, the only thing in the room besides myself and the sofa was a mirror (maybe five feet long). i was in this place the longest. after getting up off of the couch i walked over to the mirror and looked at myself. i appeared normal at first then began to see what looked like my facing melting. it was like seeing my eyes and nose and skin melt. i collapsed at that moment. my body went limp and i felt my skull hit the hard floor. everything was black and i could not move or breath. i laid there for awhile coming to terms with death. then, all of a sudden i was back in my bed and sprung out running down the hall with no restrictions while screaming "am i alive am i alive!? am i dead!? is this real!?". at this time in my life i was seeing shadow people in waking life and they visited me often in my sleep. i began being terrified of sleep. one night, a being appeared to me in my house. it was in a dream, i was sitting downstairs on a chair and this being sat across from me. it felt like pure evil. it had a reptilian like face (this was long before i was aware of these beings), big yellow eyes with vertical slit pupils, a deep booming and angry voice, and was wearing some kind of black robe. it was yelling at me, i think it was trying to tell me some very nasty things i don't really want to repeat. then it said "i should just kill you right now!". then it looked out into the hallway and back at me and gave an evil smile and said "but i will have someone else do that for me." i looked to the hallway and saw the same shadow person i have seen in waking life and in the dreams. this all happened when i was 14, i am not 24, i feel as though it's time i reached out about this. now i see many white orbs and this has increased since i began meditating, significantly. i did see the shadow person for the first time again in a long time but the white orbs are far more popular. the white orbs feel like the equal and opposite to what i experienced. please, i need answers and so far i've been failed to get any in depth insight into any of this. i feel alone from my peers in this matter and from my friends and family as they have not experienced these matters either. the meditating and praying have helped significantly and i feel as though i am experiencing the equal and opposite to what i did around that time in my life. i have a very deep and innate connection to the et phenomenon since i was young enough to be in kindergarten (this connection was not brought to me by any family or friends). and i wonder if this correlates to the intense high pitch sounds i would hear as a child with accompanied visuals that i am now experiencing again. i see these white orbs a lot not. i wish to be a part of this movement. after all of this, i wish to finally speak to someone who is involved in this as their life work. you have a very willing, passionate, dedicated, and experienced person here to work with. please help.