I am a 47 year old male, former us marine. i come from a good christian home where aliens "don't exist." i grew up by a nuclear power plant in michigan in a place that is known for ufo activity. when you type in "ufo sightings" in my hometown, the first one mentioned is from right in my small suburb by the nuclear plant. one night, around 1986, me and a friend of mine witnessed a ufo shooting back and forth across lake erie. we were talking about this just the other night, but that's not why i'm writing. in approximately the spring of 1986, i had a "dream" where i was walking down the road in my subdivision. in my dream i looked up and noticed a saucer shaped craft, a few hundred feet from me, hovering alongside me as if it was watching me. i stood in awe, then panicked and ran! as i began to run in my "dream" my legs got super heavy and i went into a slow motion where i continued to panic. things are really foggy at this point as i wake up in my bed not really knowing if this was a dream, or real. there is major confusion regarding time, in such a way that i cant even put into words how it feels. was it really a dream? also at this time in my life, i go into drug and alcohol addiction worse than anyone i know. my addictions get worse than any of my friends or family. i don't know why, but i "really" become an alcoholic and addict at 16 years old, right at this time period. approximately 2 weeks ago from todays date, i drove right to that spot in the subdivision and stood right at the corner where that "dream" took place. i stood there and looked up for a bit, i then said to the sky, "if you are trying to tell me something, i'm listening!" why would i do that, go to that spot, and say those words? again, 31 years later i feel an overwhelming need, or "call" to return to the location that has started all these lifelong experiences. that was 1986, 31 years ago, and that dream is still alive and well in my memory, and i have spent those 31 years remembering, and obsessing, about that dream. there is no other dream from my youth that i can remember, and i still talk about it all the time to this day. i can still feel that sense of confusion in regards to wondering if it really happened or not, or was it actually a dream. there's more though… my life since then has been plagued by the most bizarre dreams! although i'm not an electrician, and ive never worked really with electricity, i could not begin to count the many times over the years that i have been severely electrocuted in my dreams. a common dream is that i'm laying on a flat surface, like the ground, and i'm surrounded by many tornados as i'm being electrocuted and stuck to the ground by that electrocution. i wake up very upset, and really exhausted, as though ive been in a time warp. ive had those dreams hundreds of times over the years, even though ive never even seen a tornado in person. ive had dreams where ive been awakened by such a vibration, such a loud sound, that its almost like sleeping on a boat-freighter-ship's horn when it goes off, you know, like those horns you can hear all the way across a lake or ocean. its like a "uuuuunnnnnnngggggggg" that i cant really explain. i awake, feeling partially deaf, confused of where i'm at, and the physical sensation that i feel is panic, and again, i'm totally exhausted as if coming out of a time-warp. this however, is the most disturbing dream: i'm always laying on a level surface on my stomach and i'm paralyzed. it feels as though something, or someone (i never see faces) is trying to rectally "penetrate me" from behind, right through my clothes. i haven't been molested, so i don't know how my brain could just "invent" this sensation. the pain is horrible, and i thrash and moan and fight myself awake. i have had dreams where i have come awake swinging my fists in bed, as if its an attack. again, i am exhausted and mentally disturbed. i am usually sitting up in my bed and looking in the direction of where that force came from, usually the foot or side of my bed. i can always tell from which direction it came from. i have had this dream the most over the years, having one just a couple of weeks ago. this is the first time in my life that ive talked about this. i have also had many times of time-warping, always resulting in confusion and the sense that i'm not sure if it happened or not, always leading to the feeling that i'm going crazy, but that nagging question remains, and it wont leave my conscience. i have also had hundreds of dreams where i awake and look around, again kind of in a foggy time warp, looking for who has been in my bedroom. its like i know someone has been in there with me, but i'm so foggy that i'm just not sure. i am 47 now, and i have become absolutely, completely, without-a-doubt, obsessed with aliens. i literally think of them all day, all night, and i cant stop researching them and watching everything that i can get my hands on regarding them. luckily, i have a girlfriend who doesn't think i'm crazy. as i said before, i grew up christian and i have always prayed to jesus. recently over the past couple of years, even my prayers have begun to change. now when i pray, i verbalize my prayer in a way to include the possibility that there are aliens. for example, i pray to "the universe" now, or to "the heavens." the other day i said, "aliens…If your'e up there…" in my prayer. i think, noticing these things, and how i am becoming totally overtaken by them, has prompted me to write this. am i alone? does anyone else have these experiences? when i sit back and wonder if aliens will make themselves known in my lifetime, i get so excited that i cant contain myself, almost as if my whole being is being charged with this glorious hope! i have putt cnn's app on my phone, and i check it every morning and look to see if aliens have made contact yet. please help me! have i gone crazy? sincerely, jason sellards p.S. i have attached a personal picture of myself, and my nephew, so that you have a face to go with this story. i want you to know that i have a great family, great military service history to my country, and that i'm just your ordinary person who feels as though hes had a un-ordinary lifelong experience.